"Every good and perfect gift is from above" James 1:17

Friday, January 29, 2010

January 2009 ~ We submitted our Formal Application, along with family and personal references, to our agency. Oh my goodness, I think I would compare filling out this application with filing our taxes for 3 years all on the long forms. But, I know this is just the beginning. We will travel to our all day Orientation Meeting on February 5th. At that time, we will learn what to expect from this entire process. We will start our Homestudy just 4 days later. Oh, we are so excited to be getting Our Journey underway. Once we have completed our Homestudy, we will be considered as "Waiting Parents" by our agency. These "Waiting Parents" have now been waiting 2 years and 8 months, and we pray daily that we will soon be able to hold Our Precious Gift in our arms.

December 2009 ~ We submitted our Preliminary Application to our adoption agency. I was so anxious and nervous. Every day that we didn't hear anything (which was about 2 business days~it seemed like weeks) I told Bobby, "They aren't going to accept us". He would just laugh and say, "You're so silly; quit worrying". His faith never waivers. I don't think mine really waivers, I just have trouble giving over control to God sometimes. I'm working on this! We have now been assigned to our case manager, and I am able to email her or call when needed.
November 2009 ~ We had to decide whether we wanted to adopt internationally or domestic (US). We received a few packets of information by mail and email and began to read through stacks of paper. We both really felt that there are so many children right here at home that need a loving, Christian home. Once we had made that decision, choosing the best agency for us was pretty easy. We chose to work with an agency that only works with Christian families and whose fees were based on income~rather than certain fees per child based on race. From the beginning of our contact with this agency, we have felt that they place more concern on the best needs of the birthmother, children, and adoptive families than on the fees. I pray that this early impression stays true throughout our journey.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Our Story

Our story begins on November 12, 2005. That was the day that I met my future husband. We were introduced on a blind date by mutual friends, and the rest, as they say, is history. After dating for a year and one day~because the ring wasn't ready~he proposed. I was actually speechless and just kept saying "Are you sure?". We were both in our mid to late 30's and had never been married. It was a huge step, but we both felt that God had brought us together. We were married six months later. It was a such a very special day full of love and shared with so many of our family members and friends. We were so excited to start our new life together.

We were both so hoping that we would get pregnant sooner rather than later. I went to see my OB/GYN the next month, as I have a history of being diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome in my late teens. At this time we were still hopeful that a pregnancy was not out of the question. My doctor was not very concerned, but agreed to go ahead and start me on medication to help with ovulation. Well, this went on for a year with no pregnancy. At that time, we decided to try surgery. After the surgery, we were aware that I was not ovulating and probably never had ovulated according to what my ovaries looked like. My doctor performed ovarian drilling to help increase the chance of ovulation. We scheduled the next cycle of Clomid (now at the maximim dose) and planned a trip to the beach. We were hoping that getting away and relaxing would help everything come together. We returned home tanned, but still not pregnant.

After much prayer and discussion. We decided to see a fertility specialist. That's where things got really crazy. After a lot of tests, our specialist still had no answers and no diagnosis, but did say I did not have PCOS. We were advised to try injections and intrauterine insemination. When you get on the infertility merry-go-round it is very hard to know what to do. We decided to give it a try, and we were advised that we had our best chance of pregnancy with 3 cycles. I thought I would be able to self inject my medication, but I was wrong! Bobby stepped right up and popped me with that first shot before I could change my mind. Well, we completed 3 very extensive and expensive cycles with no pregnancy. At this point, our specialist is recommending IVF. Bobby and I had already decided that we needed a break. I cannot describe the heartbreak every time I had a negative pregnancy test. We would try to not get excited, but the medicine would give me side effects that made me feel like just maybe I was pregnant. After the third cycle, we were just emotionally worn out. I kept feeling like maybe this was just not meant to be. As hard as it is to give up on the dream of being pregnant and giving birth to our child, I kept having this feeling that this was not going to be our path to our child.

We took a month off of medication to just re-evaluate and decide what we wanted to do. We had discussed the possibility of not being able to get pregnant before we became engaged, because of my medical history. I had always been open to adoption, and Bobby told me then that he was also open to adoption. We had tried all we knew to do, and we just didn't want to keep adding up debt when nothing was working~you have to love insurance companies that will not cover anything that has to do with infertility.

After much prayer and discussion, we began to look into the possibility of adoption. I began talking to other parents that had adopted children and researching agencies online. It seemed to be so overwhelming~which agency, domestic or international, etc. We just had to take some time and listen to what God was leading us to do. I find that when I am wanting something so badly, I don't usually take the time to stop and let God lead me. I start to think that I know best. But, after slowing down and just following the old saying, Let Go and Let God, things started falling into place. And that is where Our Journey To Our Precious Gift begins ...